And so…that year Colin asked to celebrate an early Valentine’s Day. The next week he would be crazed and working late. So we did. Extraordinary evening. Very romantic, very smokey.
Valentine’s Day came and I received two dozen roses from Colin. Felt special. And was bringing in the love, friendship-style, with a gang of girls at an Italian bistro. Laughed, conversed and was served penne with pesto by a very entertaining waiter. Felt cheerful. While dabbing the corners of my mouth with my napkin, I casually gazed out the restaurant window. My jaw dropped, and a piece of penne followed. Colin was walking by, hand-in-hand, with Lola. Felt sick.
Losing my cool, I bludgeoned down the aisle and out the door, braced for battle. I was on fire. Liars and cheaters and bears. Oh my. But, I couldn’t see them anywhere. They’d vanished. I called his cell. He didn’t answer. I left a blasphemous message.
In some areas of the planet he might be stoned or maybe thrown off a cliff for his infidelity. But a more civilized form of revenge might be sending him Spanish Stoppers. You know, the flowers that smell like skunk.
So there I was standing in the middle of the road, absolutely seething, when suddenly my brain wattage went from dim to bright. I got it. This relationship was never going to work. The moment had come when you know. You just know.
Colin told me it was all very innocent. Begged forgiveness. Blah. Blah. Blah. I suppose he thought what I didn’t know wouldn’t matter. If a tree falls in the woods, does it make a sound? If I bake a cake and eat it all alone, does that mean the calories don’t count? Of course they count.
The truth was important to me and it had all become too hard. I was done. Finished. Twirl your tail in a different direction.
That was five years ago. I’d let go, yet never stopped caring. Now Colin has returned and is performing great acts of atonement. I’ve forgiven him (mostly). I’m still intrigued, but confused and wary of the truth/trust element. He says he’s changed, Lola is lost in his past, and he wants back into my life. In the moment, however, he remains the forbidden fruit. Strawberry has become the nectar.
to be continued...
